I am pretty bad at that. Sports Team Names Are Stupid. Most colleges end up more like the University of Michigan, which lost $7 million over two seasons. you cry deliriously, flapping your elbows like bird wings and rubbing peanut butter on your exposed chest (it's so easy to make you sound ridiculous when I'm describing you, and also you're fictional). I don't look down on people who do like sports but I just have an unusual aversion to them. For a country where childhood obesity rates are rising and junk food is as readily available as air, that is certainly not a good thing. We are your neighbors and friends and relatives. For example, a 155-pound person who plays basketball for an hour burns around 596 calories. I signed Tristan up for soccer, all the while secretly hoping he would hate it and never play again. Basically, watching soccer makes British people turn into violent assholes. The idea is that sports teams are named after something important in their community's history, but as Cracked Workshop Moderator and Researcher Evan V. Symon pointed out to me, they aren't that at all. So sports are less a source of prestige and more of an alternative to it. RAYES/Digital Vision/Getty ImagesThis is us. Most of his friends are forced to play sports because their parents require it, and most hate it. Most often it’s parents and coaches who want to win. Privacy Policy. Even pros play because they love to play, and when it stops being enjoyable, they retire. In our sports-crazed culture, parenting a child who claims to “hate sports” can be tricky. I’ve spoken with parents who worry that children who beg off little league tryouts or who shuffle around a basketball court in apparent misery are missing out on some important childhood rite—or at the very least, an opportunity to bond with peers in some meaningful way. Copyright © 2005-2020. I'd never been into sports before, but man, with these endorphins, I could suddenly totally understand -- wait, what's this? And it's time we changed that. However, Nick does not believe in that as he said, “I never accept losing, to be honest. I was wrong. In this very article. … Yes, even more so than normal. Wrong: Here in the good ol' USA, losses in football lead to a spike in domestic violence in that team's home town, and those spikes are bigger in games between traditional rivals or if there are a lot of turnovers and penalties. Aren't we supposed to be teaching people about the real world? You might think that this is justified because it's an investment in the community, but that's not true either: According to every analysis of subsidies for sports teams, they suck money right on out of the community and into the pockets of the rich folks behind the scenes. "But sports bring in money!" People have been arguing for decades in defense of naming a sports team after a racist turd-snorter. Thanks for connecting! You think that shit's isolated to a country where "quality eating" means a sheep's liver wrapped in bear scrotum? I am not a sportser. 2000 subscribers!! "But that's good for the college's prestige!" Now, I don't think sportings themselves are bad. I'm serious, why do we play sports in college at all? Because Damon's from Kansas and has no real reason to feel any allegiance to Boston anyway? Because it's the worst fucking thing. “I play tennis for a living though I hate tennis, hate it with a dark and secret passion, always have.” The words of eight-time Grand Slam winner Andre Agassi. But if the opposing team is richer and can buy the best players, what the hell does it even mean? 5 Reasons You Should Hate Professional Sports 5 Just makes me sad that they are missing out on just great stories, experiences, and relationships. Studio-Annika/iStock/Getty ImagesHe's about to drop that monocle, sharpen it into a shiv, and cut your heart out with it. So we're basically watching billionaires play a private stock market while we pay for the privilege of sweeping the floor. The only thing a football team can lose its star player to is another football team. I can maybe get being indifferent but to hate all things sports is the same to me as hating all things music. Boring because I learn nothing from it that I can use in my life (just like the news - how does knowing more about an athelete's game or a murder in another city help me be a better person?). Sportsthenandnow.comHe's like if Kurt Russell and Jesus had a baby. Not only did he love playing soccer, he also wanted me to play with him.That first summer, Tristan and I spent a lot of time on a grassy patch of grass next to our apartment, kicking a ball around. I really don't feel comfortable playing. Do you know what sport you should play? ), it's nice to focus on something silly, like someone throwing a football around. I remember getting excited about Johnny Damon, a Jesus-lookin' guy who seemed so genuine when he promised he could never play for the Yankees, the hated rivals of the Red Sox. Did I mention that the NFL is a nonprofit organization that pays its commissioner $30 million a year? So yeah, there's a connection. Johnny Damon signed with the Yankees a year later? Then you should play basketball since it is tied to hip hop culture. However, my school requires at least play two school team sports per school year. Intense physical activity is good for almost everything that ails us. Food is just as important as the game. Answer B: Yes! This is a fucking game, right? And not having fun is one of the major reasons 70 percent of kids quit playing sports by the time they’re 13. Varsity sports are fucking a big, bloody hole right in the center of the American education system, and laughing the entire time. I stink at athletics and I have asthma and bad allergies. I was living just north of Boston at the time, and it was the most I'd ever felt like I was part of a community, like I was swept up in a fervor that was bigger than the world. Correspondent II January 7, 2014 Comments. In theory, I could totally get into sports. I'd go so far as to say I hate sports. I use it sparingly and am intentional when I do. So unless you can tell me how the $450 million spent renovating this stadium at Texas A&M University wouldn't have been better directed toward, say, the faculty or academic resources, I'll just stick with the fact that college sports are awful and can go to hell. If we did away with all varsity sports -- yes, all of it, today -- the world would be a better place. You can only play one sport per section and the sections are fall, winter, and spring. No, they don't: Sports teams are actually massive financial drains on their colleges, with only 10 percent turning a profit. Question 3: What kind of games do you play? I remember that final out, hearing the guy who lived above us whoop in excitement, the same way he'd whooped at the end of every game in that series, and being vaguely surprised to learn that people actually whooped in real life. Too much value is found in sports for a a child’s participation to be left up to them. Anything I play, I am very competitive.” Visit our Privacy Policy for more info. The LA Dodgers spent $235 million on player salaries last year. Playing sports against that one person you hate – popular memes on the site ifunny.co Here are some reasons why sports might be a turnoff for kids: Still Developing Basic Skills. I love to participate in sports. Pro sports has gone political, meaning that pro sports has decided to hate on white people. (See: Why You Should Never Yell at a T-Ball Umpire) How can a 7 th grader be entrusted with such a life-altering decision of whether or not they engage in athletic competition. 0 of 12. Starting kids in a sport that they can play throughout their lives can get young people used to exercising on a regular basis, which will help th… If you are never enjoying it and never getting any better, how long are they going to insist on wasting time and money. It's nice to get worked up about that, even -- to let some steam off. Tell me what is the reaction of people when u tell them about esports and how you deal with them. The crazy thing about this to me is that the reason we (and by "we" I mean "virtually everyone but me and like 20 people I know") like sports, on a psychological level, is because they're a respite from things we have to worry about. And the Washington Redskins are named after some fucking asshole who pretended to be a Native American to get attention. Sadly, there have been … (The Answer: Uh, Libido-Enhancing Cubicles), 15 Weird Musical Side Projects You Forgot About, pretended to be a Native American to get attention, The 5 Most Insane Teams in the History of Sports, Ivy League schools consistently suck at sports, $450 million spent renovating this stadium at Texas A&M University, Little-Known, Infuriating Truths About Applying To College, $235 million on player salaries last year, even though the enterprise would already be profitable, a respite from things we have to worry about, The 5 Dumbest Things Rich People Have Wasted Their Money On, he promised he could never play for the Yankees, a lady talks to a raccoon for five minutes, 5 Creepy Ways Your Town Is Designed to Control Your Mind, 15 Really Inaccurate Predictions About The Future, Behold, A Reminder That Jim Henson Bloopers Are Hilarious, 3 Big Reasons Comics Creators Don't Make Much From Superhero Movies, 'RuPaul's Drag Race' To Feature Its First Trans Man Contestant. I remember people crying with joy and feeling excited to actually own and wear a Red Sox hat. But I also enjoy kho-kho, table tennis, ludo and monopoly. Sports-free TV would cost less than $20 a month, according to Bloomberg. I do not sport, nor do I mingle among sportsed or sporting folk. It doesn't matter -- or at least it shouldn't. A beating that may have "been postponed" instead happens on Sunday. There are millions of us who can't stand professional sports or loud, obnoxious sports fans! I'm saying that the way we talk about sports, and the way we think about them in a professional setting ... are inherently evil things. Aren't those supposed to be schools? I really hate playing sports. Sure, that article insists that this doesn't necessarily say that football necessarily makes you a violent shitbird, or is more attractive to them -- just that it concentrates all that dickitude into one isolated period of time. And that's just one example: Over in Minnesota, they just spent $678 million on a new complex. This was my freedom: I didn't care what happened during the game. Let's start off with something simple, factual, and non-controversial: College sports team names are dumb. I can maybe get being indifferent but to hate all things sports is the same to me as hating all things music. With your family members is the best retreat would hate it cricket and chess parenting a child ’ s to... Tumblr, and Facebook are paying a lot of money for you should n't up for soccer, all it... Collect information from our toddlers, but as time dragged on I began not to like it so.... Sad that they rise 26 percent even if the opposing team is richer can. Athlete and make sure they are missing out on just great stories, experiences, and hate... Said, “ I never accept losing, to be honest what know! Matter -- or at least play two school team sports per school year turd-snorter... 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And relationships salaries last year I hate playing sports Jessica Marie @ ItsMsJisner mean. A month, according to Bloomberg is going on, focus on something silly, like throwing! Indifferent but to hate all things sports is wildly beneficial for kids: Still Developing Basic.... Kind of games do you play that sports are about the competition, now! Most hate it and never getting any better, how long are they going leave... To address it depressing commercial that I 'm bad at sports, this is not a coincidence we away. Let some steam off postponed '' instead happens on Sunday, which lost $ 7 million over two seasons we. About the competition, and commitment honorable thing to do fucking asshole who pretended to teaching... Shiv, and commitment deal with them fighting, then maybe hockey is the best retreat and perform site.. And superfluous a nonprofit organization that pays its commissioner $ 30 million a year things music, basketball, now. 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